Who's Loving Obama (Obama Bin Awesome)

Vote for the winner.


http://uk. youtube. com/watch?v=Na-bYTucU4Y

Dark Knight

i went to see the new batman movie at the Imax near waterloo, london. is it just me or does Heath Ledger sound a lot like Al Franken?

Noise Complaint

July 17, 2008

Mr. P.S. #$%^$&

Great Missenden

Bucks

HP&^ 9^&

Dear Mr. $%^#&*,

RE: 806 Marshall Building - Noise Nuisance

At 12:30am on July 13, one of your neighbors was woken up by the sound of loud music and heavy thumping/ heavy footfall coming from your apartment. They did nothing at the time in hope that things would soon calm down. They did not and by 2am the noise level had increased. They therefore called the concierge who went to your apartment and requested that the noise be kept down.

This had little effect. The music was turned down for a short time but by 5am the level had increased so much that your neighbors could hear it even though they were wearing earplugs. The music was still thumping but by 6am had finally subsided enough for your neighbors to get a couple of hours of restless sleep.

At approximately 10am the concierge found a man in reception wearing only a jumper tied around his waist. All he knew was that he was at a party somewhere in the building but didn’t know where. He was escorted back to 806.

Matters to a potentially more serious turn when at 11:30am an orange mannequin, one used to show which Apartments were still for sale, was thrown over your balcony in to Hermitage Street. The guest clearly found this amusing as their laughter could be heard downstairs. It is fortunate that no one was walking or driving underneath at the time or we could be dealing with something considerably more serious.

Not surprisingly the mannequin broke in to several pieces and at 1135am two guests from your apartment tried to recover the mannequin. This they eventually did but not before some attempts at making a sculpture out of the broken pieces.

I’m sure you’ll agree that this type of behavior is unacceptable and I would appreciate your assurance that there will not be a repeat.

Yours sincerely,

Martin $%#^#

Building Manager

i woke up wondering where i am at. i am on a couch in a room in East London surrounded by musical equipment. i remember playing electronic drums with some hippy while a rich socialite danced around in a G-String. we were drnking whiskey and smoking till late. i also ran into an australian booking agent who grabbed my balls and said he like me. i drank some water and walked outside. london is hot and humid now. went to the bank a realized my bank account has less than 20 pounds in it so I'm broke again. i scrapped together all my change and purchased 10 Richmond Cigarettes.

i woke up on a pool billiard table in the country side of England. security was ushering me off the 5000 pound piece of furniture from 300 years ago. apparently i was drunk last night and performed at a wedding. i then smashed a box of aftershave given to me by the bride and groom. i remember eating a load of Ketamine and listening to Dark Side of The Moon and for about 15 minutes i was communicating directly with god. how divine?

Kennedy, Johnny, Snoop Dog & Count De Money

Check it out....

http://www. billboard. com/bbcom/news/article_display. jsp?vnu_content_id=1003826958

Snoop Dogg Leads Johnny Cash Remix Disc
July 11, 2008 , 5:00 PM ET
Jonathan Cohen, N.Y.


Johnny Cash's music has been reinterpreted by a host of hip-hop and dance music acts for "Johnny Cash Remixed," due Oct. 14 via Compadre Records/Music World Music. Snoop's version of "I Walk the Line" features his QDT production team, which also includes Teddy Riley and DJ Quik.



The project was approved by Cash's son, John Carter Cash, who says his dad "would have loved this remix record. While it stays true to the original recordings, this CD touches on undiscovered ground. This is what my father was about: staying true to tradition while creating groundbreaking new music.

"

"If you take your time to listen to it, country music is very similar to rap," Snoop Dogg told Billboard last year. "Johnny Cash is the one who stood out to me. I love his style, his swag, the songs he made.

"

Elsewhere, the Alabama 3 tackles "Leave That Junk Alone," Pete Rock reworks "Folsom Prison Blues," Mocean Worker updates "Hey Porter" and Frank Sinatra remixer Philip Steir handles "Get Rhythm.

"

Other acts involved in the album include Sonny J, Kennedy, Mexican Industry Of Sound, the Heavy and Count de Money.



A documentary about the creation of "Remixed" is in production. The album will also be available in a deluxe vinyl edition on Sept. 23.

The Idiots Guide To Getting Laid: Bad Sex Advice

Dear Kennedy,

I have been out on two dates with the same guy. He is very cute but I am not sure if I am ready to seal the deal with him. I normally give up the nookie on the third date. Does this make me prude? Can you explain what the different “bases” are for guys when dating, i.e. first base, second base, etc.?

-Sincerely, Cold Fishing in Venice

Dear Cold Fishing,

To answer your question simply, yes you are prude. If my “date” doesn’t give it up the first night there is no second date. As far as the bases go, for most men and me straight missionary sex is first base. Second base has some more imaginative positions and maybe some “all access” privileges (if you know what I mean). Third base consists of auto-erotic asphyxiation and maybe some run-of-the-mill farm animals (or at least the family pet). Last but not least, the home run, or the grand slam, is scoring your date and her grandma in the same house, but preferably in the same bed. Good luck and say hello to your grandma for me.

-Love, Kennedy

email your questions to heteropriest@gmail.com